Go Vikings!

by Mike on January 23, 2010

in Fun

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go to Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.

He says to them ‘Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?

Ole replies, ‘Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit,ya know.

The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up the heat even more.

When he returns to the room of the two guys  from Minnesota, the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer. The devil is astonished and exclaims, ‘Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?’

Sven replies, ‘Vell, ya know, ve don’t git too much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve’ve yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather’s dis nice.’

The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer.  The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The  devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth.

The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.

The devil is dumbfounded, ‘I don’t understand, when I turn up the heat you’re happy. Now its freezing cold and you’re still happy.  What is wrong with you two?’

They both look at the devil in surprise and  say, ‘Vell, don’t ya know, if hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super  Bowl!’

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A Prayer to The Great One

by Mike on January 23, 2010

in Personal Updates

Our Favre-ther who art in Mississippi
hallowed be thy name.
Thy bowl will come,
it will be won,
In Miami as it is in the Dome.
Give us this Sunday, Our weekly win.
Give us touchdown passes,
but do not let others pass against us.
Lead us not into frustration, but deliver us to the Super Bowl.
For thine is the MVP,
the bestest of the NFC,
and the glory of the Purple People Eaters
now and forever. Amen

–Author Unknown

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Chocolate chip cookies

January 6, 2010

The awesome power of a wife’s love.

A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death’s doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of [...]

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A Winter Statistic

December 4, 2009

98% of Americans say “‘Oh shit” before going in the ditch on a slippery road.
The other 2% are from Minnesota and they say, “Hold my beer and watch this.”

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This came into my inbox today…

December 3, 2009

… and you thought you had problems.

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A Little Friday Humor

November 20, 2009

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

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Abstract of Title

November 18, 2009

Here’s another good one that came from an email.
Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite [...]

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New Site Design

November 15, 2009

Okay, so I don’t update this site much, I really do have several articles ideas and some half written. But I did take some time to install a new theme called Thesis. This is a really great theme and it’s highly customizable. I’ll be tweaking the colors some day soon. I added a new set [...]

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Night Watchman

August 21, 2009

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress thought someone may steal from it at night; so they  created  a night watchman, GS-4 position, and hired a person for the job.
Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?”  So they created [...]

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Geek Pop

August 18, 2009

So worth it!

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